Travel jokes
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.