Travel jokes
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Why can't orphans go on field trips? Parents' signature: _______
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Anyone go to Success Jonesboro, AR?
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.