Travel jokes
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!