Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
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I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Time flies by, doesnāt it?
But the plane in 9/11 didnāt.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldnāt be caught travelling! š
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
