What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.
Why did the black guy cross the street to check King Van?
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?
What is something that smells yuck? 🤮
Old bus seats.
