Transportation jokes
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
The convoy truckers are a joke.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
Yeeeeeeeet!
Which month is the bus? December.
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.