Transportation jokes

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to his owner.

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train!

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.

I go beep like a Jeep.

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

I love bus jokes.

What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?

Hop on.

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!

Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

Why did the egg cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!