Transportation jokes
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Which month is the bus? December.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
Why couldn't the toilet cross the road?
Answer: 'Cause it got stuck in the crack.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.