Transportation jokes
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.
The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Bus went vrrrrrrrm.
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Which month is the bus? December.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What has two wheels and goes really fast?
A vegetable down a hill.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
The convoy truckers are a joke.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.