Transportation jokes

I had a dream I was a muffler last night...

I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

What goes boo in a car with no lips?

Why didn’t the toilet cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack!

What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.

What does a car have when it's very itchy?

A road rash.

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.