Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
