Transportation jokes
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
Why did the black guy cross the street to check King Van?
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
What is the difference between a tree 🌲 and a car 🚘?
A car can drive, and a tree 🌳 cannot drive.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?