Transportation jokes
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
When your plane heads for New York...
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"