Transportation jokes
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Memes
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
Floor on the road?
What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"