Transportation jokes
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!