Transportation jokes

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of screaming children.

Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.

Twin Towers: "No, it won't."

Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.