Transportation jokes

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.

What did the traffic light say to the other?

🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White vans.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

I had a dream I was a muffler last night...

I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!