Transportation jokes

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.

Why do orphans live on buses?

They never have a home to stop at.

What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

You live in the airport.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.