Transportation jokes
I took a plane to go see my hairline.
What do you call a terrible bus company?
Stagecoach Highlands.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Memes
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
When your plane heads for New York...
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!