Transportation jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What is the difference between a tree and walk walk home and walk walk home from school?
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.