Transportation jokes

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

What's the Twin Towers' favorite type of transport?

Planes.

All these jokes are all plane.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

Why did the flamingo cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off.

I had a dream I was a muffler last night...

I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White vans.

What goes boo in a car with no lips?

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"