Transportation jokes
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.