Transportation jokes
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.