Transportation jokes
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.