Transportation jokes
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
No Words
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.