Transportation jokes

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car 🚙 can drive and [a] tree 🌲 can not drive.

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!

Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!

I have a joke about death.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Think about it :)

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

Why was the giraffe late to work?

Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.

Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

What is a car?

Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!