Transportation jokes
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
Hollow Knight Meme
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
You know what I told my little brother plane?
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
What is long and hard and is full of seamen?
A submarine.