Transportation jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
You might think these jokes are plane.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!