Transportation jokes
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Memes
Like if you know what i'm talking about
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
You might think these jokes are plane.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"