Transportation jokes
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
You might think these jokes are plane.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."