Transportation jokes
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
I wrote a joke on MH370… but I don’t know where it went.
What is long and hard and is full of seamen?
A submarine.
Mosely in a white van.
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
What is your car's name?
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.