My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
When your plane heads for New York...
McDonald's has a drive through.
Twin Towers has a fly through.
