Transportation jokes
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.