Transportation jokes
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.