Transportation jokes
Americans: We drive on the right side of the road.
The British: We drive on the left side of the road.
Russia: ROAD IS ROAD. *crashing noises follow*
What do you call a bus going backwards? A sub.
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"