Transportation jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
Memes
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.