When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
