Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
The name Brynley means "burnt wood" lolololol.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
I told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.