Worst Jokes Ever
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
How does cheese rat cheese?
It cheeses.
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.