Worst Jokes Ever
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.