Worst Jokes Ever

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"

Me: "They are Parental Guidance."

How do you start a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

What has four legs and one arm?

A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.

A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.

The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.

Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"

The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.

I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.

Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?

Because they make the toys.

My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."