Worst Jokes Ever
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Asians don't believe in Santa because they make the toys.
Isac, I suck deez nuts!
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
User name is Nico Belick.
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.