Worst Jokes Ever
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after youâre done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she canât tell anyone.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldnât fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Why did God create women before men?
He didnât want any advice on how to do it.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they donât like dicks.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I donât care if they have either of them.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.