Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?