Worst Jokes Ever
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?
Nothing, he doesn't have any.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!