Worst Jokes Ever
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.