Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.