Worst Jokes Ever

Why did my dad cross the road?

To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat the cancer.

The "S" in Putin stands for smart.

My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?

"Adopt Me."

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.

Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.

Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?

Because they are good at fingering A minor.

What music do depressed people listen to?

"I Believe I Can Fly."

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"