Worst Jokes Ever
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"