Worst Jokes Ever

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What is Michael Jackson’s favorite song? “Little Drummer Boy.”

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Why do people want to jump off buildings?

Because they want to become Superman.

Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!

Quote for the day.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.

I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?