Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Boom, it went.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a home page.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why can't an orphan watch the movie:
It was family rated.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.