Worst Jokes Ever
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
Why can’t orphans play GTA?
Because they are not wanted.
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"