Worst Jokes Ever

I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.

How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.

Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.

Me: What? Am I dying?

Doctor: No, your wife is.

What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?

Its ass.

What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Did you know that Uranus is as big as the moon?

Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?

The kids section.

what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!

Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.