Worst Jokes Ever
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Russia—the real joke.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.