Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."
I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Retards.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)