Worst Jokes Ever
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.