Worst Jokes Ever
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice because it said "concentrate."
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War