Worst Jokes Ever
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, LOL.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People 😂