Worst Jokes Ever
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.