Worst Jokes Ever
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"