Worst Jokes Ever
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.