Worst Jokes Ever
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"