Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but Chuck Norris does.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.
Which makes me an eighth-theist.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
