Worst Jokes Ever
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Who is the king of Reddit?
Sam Ryan.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What's the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.