Worst Jokes Ever
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.