Worst Jokes Ever
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
how do u make a emo kid jump? a bridge.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.