Worst Jokes Ever
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
how do u make a emo kid jump? a bridge.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?