Worst Jokes Ever
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. What happened to freedom of speech?
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.