Worst Jokes Ever
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."