Worst Jokes Ever
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."