Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."
Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."
Priest, "How so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."
Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"
Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."
Then Matt walks out the door.
Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.