Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
like this if you don't like school.
I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.