My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
