Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?
Because they're believers.
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Humanity.