Worst Jokes Ever

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

What does a noisy chilli do?

It gets jalapeno business.

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

A lawn mooer.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.

What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples got picked.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

Hardest part about being a paedophile?

Fitting in.

Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.

What do oranges sweat?

Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️

Why is there no woman on the moon?

Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.