Worst Jokes Ever
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."