Worst Jokes Ever
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."