Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
Somewhere over the rainbow.