Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger! You racist fuc-
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.