Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.

The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just hacked the "chrime."

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.