Worst Jokes Ever
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Best website ever 4 chair.
What did the hairline say to the hat?
"We go way back..."
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
What did the retard say when the water too deep?
"Deep deep."
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.