Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can walk and a house can walk to a tree, walk home, walk, walk, and walk, walk.
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
What is a car?
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
Mum is the best!
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.