Worst Jokes Ever
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
Bomb goes Uno.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
China, unban Google, r.n. noOoOooOw!
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They ain't got no home to run to.
Cock.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There are twenty of them.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?
Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...
Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!
Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????