Worst Jokes Ever
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,
one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
What did the retard say when the water too deep?
"Deep deep."
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.