Worst Jokes Ever
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
What's gayer than a gangbang in a man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
All go gansta until the two towers fall down on you.
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.