Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
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Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.