Worst Jokes Ever
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
What do you call a group of emo friends?
THE SUICIDE SQUAD!
"Dababy midget porn."
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"