Worst Jokes Ever
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Why was the German in a hurry?
Because he was Rush-ian to get to work.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Fortnite
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Baby, here's my anus.
Baby, too, where's my anus?
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.