Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama’s official weight (in tonnes)
99593927273949592827385959599282738595939282759593827395828192948472937593817294728275957292739584728459398284854982835884838285849292857483838385838294958483823884958383947391959593817495827394858272959573939488492949595837829374758483848497483919396849294858203957293858930375938475937393949292949848215722935375838283848382883839393949583929459939294949493928174759284759927495910305838385848292958293959.
What did the steak say to the other steak?
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?