Worst Jokes Ever
LewenGOALski
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.