Worst Jokes Ever
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I hope you get raped by a chimp in the forest
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.