Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.