Worst Jokes Ever
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.